30 December, 2004
Shitz.
Yo man. I've got a good news and a bad news to tell. Tha good news is dat I've told her about my feelings towards her yesterdae nite. Yearh, funny ain't it? Tha biggest secret I had since day 1 is now revealed. Man, God only noes how I felt. She's nice. But I think she's like hiding sumthin' from me.....Moving on, we've got our bad news. I'm still feeling very down. Like it's got nuthin' to do wit my love life. It's about my own fweakin' life...
I'm so sick and tired. It's alwaes me who is to blame. Kalau tak kena marah, mesti kena sindir. I noe-lar, I'm quite slow in understandin shits, or in other words, blur. But dat doesn't mean I'm at fault. And my dad, when I ask him a question maybe too easy to be answer, he'll like tell me some stupid answer. Eg:
Me: Ayah, benda nie nak letak mana?
Ayah: Letak kat atas kepala.
Siapa seh tak fed-up?! Why am I slow?! And for ur info, I sort of haf dis hearing problem since one soccer incident which occurred at my void deck. How could I noe it would turn out to be like dis?! Like dude, could I stop dat shit from happening? Hell no! Aidah pun dah pandai lawan cakap orang, includes my parents. It's like she alwaes has to comment on everything I do. Like for one incident, I was going home late from band. I was having difficult time explaining to my mum. Then, she and her big mouth, who is waiting for a tight slap from mui, told my mum, "Pergi merayap kat rumah kawan lar tu.." before going inside her room. I was left there, with my mum asking me whether I'm speaking tha truth. Wad shitz, man?! I'm so sick and tired of all dis! Sometimes I even thought of ending all dis by...u noe wad! But then I think about them love-ones. Felt so..haiz! All my life, I've been facing with dilemmas. If only I was a normal teenage kid...
And all I did was kept quiet. Tha only place I could talk to is u and most important person of all in my life, Astoria. Though she's juz a guitar, she's like my bestest best fwen. She was given to me on tha 23 Jan 04, which lies on my birthdae. So she's like a part of me. Only 14 years younger. I did all stuff of shits with her. I laughed. I cried. Dat's all I could say man...
reminisced;
- 9:21 PM