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20 February, 2005
Better Off Dead
Who would cheer who would cry
Who would care if i happen to die
What will they do when they find me dead
With a pistol in my hand and a shot to the head
Is that the best way to end the pain
Just not going on with another day
Should i finish it now just get it over with
Walk in front of a car when it's floored in fifth
If i wasn't a chicken i wouldn't be here today
But because i'm a coward i'm here to stay
So painfully i have to wait to see
Them box me up and throw the dirt over me
The voices in my head
I try not to do what they just said
They yell inside my mind
Telling me to try and find
A way to get a spine
I'm really not afraid
Except for the blade
For now I shall lay
Away from the day
If I end up dead
Please tell the voices in my head
Stop yelling, stop trying to tell me what to do
Because I am no longer part of them
Inside heart, there's hate and pain
With some little bit of anger
Plus some little bit of vain
I tried to make them go away
But the feelings inside are here to stay
They are like leeches
Which come and stick
They suck all your blood
And make u feel weak
Wad do I do to kill them inside?
Is it by dying, commiting suicide?
I noe that doing it is so phucking wrong
But how could I take it for so phucking long?
Life. Wad could u do with it when u couldn't even express it? And dis smile, diz eyes. Who could have thought dat their so full of phucking lies? I'm so sick of hypocrisy. Damn phucking hate it. Holy phuck. Aight. A person seems happy. But do u noe wad lies beneath? Rite under those cheerful eyes. Behind dat beautiful smile. Is it pain I see? Tha phucking feeling dat its hiding from me?! One doesn't talk, cuz it doesn't want to tell wad they have in mind. It hides them inside. Yeah. Like tha words of my band. Some things are better left unsaid. Hah. Sometimes, one needs some time on its own. Sometimes, one needs some time all alone. Phuckedy - phuckedy - phuck - phuck - phuck. It's funny how words could be rather confusing. My words might be hard to absorb, but it sure got a deep fry meaning in them. Aight?
p.s. In my last entry, 19th Feb 2005, I was referring to my little 12-year-old sister who's been pissing me off lately, aight? smile. *shot to tha heart*
reminisced;
- 8:41 PM
