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09 April, 2005
Macbeth
Yo. I didn't expect shitz like dis to happen. But it did.. Phuck it. I dun noe wad's up wit' me now. Why do I alwaes feel dis way? Haiz. Tha [Feelings Syndrome] is like attacking me from every corners of my life. Suddenly I felt so....tensed in life. Wad's up wit' dat?! Sometimes I juz wished dat I never even existed in dis world full of drama. Wad would happen yar? An indolence kid, who's too lazy to care for his life, lost his life. Will dis freakin' world change? No no no. Tha real question is: Will they care? And yearh, Aziz, I'm still considering ur thoughts: being hit by a car really would be a bless. Hmm. Yestetrdae nite. About to shut my eyes till tha next day, when Hamzah hollered. Tha way he put dat question was like...haiz. Then we chatted. Thanx for hearing me out man.. Ur story too is special. Our stories will be between me and u, aightz? I respect ya for dat. Haiz... I'm still thinkin' of wad he said. Saved every single message he sent. I noe lar, life is full of surprises. U never noe wad u gonna get. But it ain't no competition. It can't be forced. Its tha sincereness dat can change almost everything and everyone in dis freakin' world, includes a freakin' high-class criminal. Every thing depends on tha heart. Yearh. Juz like my late grandma would say. "Keputusun ada dalam tangan seseorang itu. Terserah lah. Terpulang lah pada hati nya untuk menentukan segala nya.." Yes, I could remember them clearly. I'm actually feeling tha tears trying to escape from my eyes rite now.. Tha words. They're so...simple yet so meaningful. I missed my grandma, greatly. If only she's still around rite now, maybe she'll noe wad to do...
My hopes are so high
That your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me,
So I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst
To break or bury,
Or wear as jewelry
Which ever you prefer...
reminisced;
- 9:39 AM
