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05 September, 2005
Voodoo Chile
i've been all pinched up since saturday
i've run my self dry of excellence
16 long years in-hale the bullshit in
whatever i said on saturday
whatever i did i'll do it all again
19 marks up walls
each year one short fall..
Yo man. Todae, it's Boredom County fer me. Yearh. Bored to death. Couldn't do shitz. I mean, it's tha same old thing again and again. It's been tv, sleep, eat, piss. It's tha very same combination I did fer my June holidaes. How I hate holidaes.. Its like u're having chicken pox without any single dot on ur bodie. Get it? U're like so sick but u're not. Is it all in tha mind..? Creepie..
Got a lecture from my dad. He's like explaining why I was kinda "grounded" fer tha some of tha stuff outside. Ok, lemmie show u how "grounded" I am. My mum wrote a letter for her dis-allow-ance (is there such word?) fer tha NJRC. Dat's why I didn't go fer NJRC todae. Man, I'm like totally gonna miss up all tha fun.. Yearh yearh. I noe dat. But let's leave my pessie-mistic world, and proceed to optie-mistic land. After a couple of hours talking, I found out dat I'm quite a lucky buttface to have my family. I finally understand why they're doing all diz things..cuz they actually luv me! Aight, lemmie give u a situation. If they dun care about me, would they scold me when I show them my results? No. They'll juz leave me alone and show me dat "dude, i dun care" face. Rite? Then, they "ground" me from my activities cuz they dun want me to slip away. U noe how I could get carried away with music even when a make out with Astoria, rite diary? Her strings got broken almost once every 3 months. Dat's tha reason why they "ground". Look, I'm a thinking person now. And I take wad's good fer me in peace. I complied because I luv them. Ok, I've been disappointed ouh God only noes how many times in life and I noe how it feels to have my heart sinks so deep down below before it finally burst into tiny million pieces. Its painful. So, I dun want other people, especially my parents to experience dat unnamed feeling I've had. Now, dat's tha biggest sacrifice I have to make fer now. Trust me. If I ever break their hearts or even make them shed a single tear from their eyes, consider me [tha unforgiven]. Cuz I'll never, ever forgive myself fer dat, even if they forgive me..
I'll have to do my best. I'll have to try. No more phuck'd up depressland. It's all about phuture I have to set. Zakaria, u gotta aim high, dawg. [Ps: I wun let y'all down, and dat goes tha same fer u, Astoria. Rock on.. \m/]
reminisced;
- 8:14 PM
