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18 June, 2007
Streetcar
Heh. And i thought this site is dead.. Well, it was sleeping, actually. I just needed the time off from writing about my life. It is far too complicated to be written down. Much more complex than Engineering Math. What's that, u ask.. Hmm.. Baby, you don't wanna know..
So, I'm back now huh? Wait, actually, I'm never gone. You see.. I've been working on this project with Sinister Infants. (It's officially a club now.. Don't ask why.) Heh. Yeah. Sinister Infants are still kicking. Now with new members, we'll be working on out-of-this-world projects. Heh. And one of them will be released soon. (I hope it would last.. Heh.) But for now, let's not hear it yet. (Man, I'm soundin' like a freakin' manager... Wtf..)
Enough about Sinister Infants. Hmm.. Now, there's nuthin' much to say about myself. I can't say I'm still the same, 'cuz I'm literally not anymore. Heh. People do change. It takes time. As for me and her.. Heh. Well, i'm just gonna let it slip, even though there's no strings involved here yet, if you know what I mean.. I know it's rather ridiculous for me to let go now.. After all those time, when she didn't even respond to my messages (and even if she did, she'll only include a word or two in her message, and that's it. haha..) until we could finally chat lively like sensible people.. Man, it was really hard effort. But then again, I guess it was my stupid mistake to hold back my feelings for too long. And now there's someone else.. And this someone else was a good friend of mine. He likes her, a lot. I know it. She knows it. Everybody knows it. And they're all encouraging it. I know I'm pretty dumb to not even stand up for my rights.. Call me a freakin' loser if you have to.. But all in all, I only have one thing to say. I just hate to be the wet blanket. I know how it feels to lose someone. And I think I've become too numb to ever feel it again. It's like losing your right arm (if you're a right-hander..). And what's more, he's a good friend of mine. I just hate to see him feel what i felt. And since everyone is supporting him, I couldn't just pop into the big picture and "elope with the bride".. Well actually I could... BUT that's like worst than a freakin' jackass! So not my style! Hmmph.. Why can't life be any simpler..? Wait.. Maybe I should rephrase that question..
"Can life be any more worst than this??"
But like always, I'm still sticking to my Grandma's words.. Heh. And Aziz, you should remember it.. "Kalau ader jodoh, tak lari ke maner..." Well, if she's the one, then she'll re-appear again in my life. But if not, then, who knows if I'm destined to another better someone.. Hmm.. Maybe twice the jackpot.. Heh. Only time will tell.. And for now, it won't hurt to keep on waiting till a miracle happen, right..?
reminisced;
- 2:24 AM
